Wednesday, March 07, 2007

TAXED

So I decided to keep a log while I attempt to do my 2006 taxes online on Turbo Tax. I have a lot of things I want to inquire about, from wearing contacts to moving expenses, and figure this ought to be funny:

8:00 - Pour some wine, access Turbotax.com.

8:01 - So far, so good. Name, address... this is easy.

8:02 - 'Are you being claimed as someone's dependent?' ... Check with them, why don't ya?

8:06 - I think I found the employee identification number it is asking for, but there is no 'B' labeling the box, just the number. WHERE IS THE B? What if this is the wrong number?!?

8:07 - Whew. Thanks, IRS.com. It was, in fact, the right box.

8:12 - 'Check your consolidated broker's statement and any Forms 1099-INT, Interest Income, from banks or financial institutions.' Do WHAT? I cashed some bonds, is that what you mean? I don't think I got any paperwork from that, though.

8:14 - Call my mom. No answer.

8:20 - Facebook break. Aww, someone had a candlelight.

8:35 - Discover that it was okay that I didn't file for 2005 (whoops) because I didn't make enough. Sweet.

8:27 - Look in my Checking Account file folder and found the Interest Income form, on which my mom wrote KEEP FOR TAX RETURN!!! Decide to send mom flowers. Decide to send self flowers, too.

8:28 - Turbo Tax asks me to log back in due to inactivity. Ha.

8:30 - Woohoo! It says I get $50 back!

8:36 - WHAT DID I DO? It just went from me getting $50 to owing $18.

8:40 - 'If you cashed in U.S. savings bonds this year, you may be able to exclude (not pay taxes on) some or all of the interest. Here is the catch: you must have used the money to pay for expenses related to higher education.' Hmmm. Does paying for a spring break cruise count?

8:41 - '
Did you receive any dividend income?' Hey, remember the good ol' days when finding box B was the most of my worries?

8:43 - It's asking me if I sold any bonds, property, collectible items, mutual funds, etc. Remind myself never to have any of these so my taxes go quicker each year.

8:44 - 4 of 21 topics... wow.

8:46 -
'Do you have any gains or losses from contracts or straddles to report?' Hahaha! My tax thingy just said STRADDLES.

8:50-
Any Rental or Royalty Income?' Well, I am a princess. That's royalty, I guess...

8:54 - Wait... that was just the INCOME topics?

8:55 - More wine.

9:00 - My car is registered in Alabama. I cannot tell, without paying for extra TurboTax help, if AL allows deductions for vehicle registration fees, and if so, how much. Decide not to worry about it.

9:02 - '
Did you pay personal property taxes on items you owned? This includes property tax on boats, airplanes, motor homes, and mobile homes.' Not yet, hahahaha!

9:04 - I wish I'd given more to charity...

9:09 - Real World break!

9:33 - Yep, this sucks as bad as it did an hour ago. And I still owe $18. My goal is no longer to finish but to get money back.

9:40 - Wow. In 2006, I made 5 trips to Nashville for interviews in less than a month's time. I'm trying to write those trips off.

9:43 - Hey, my tank of gas to move to Nashville reduced my 'due' amount by $8.

9:45 - 'Did you have any casualties or theft due to [...] robbery?' I really should have filed for 2005.

9:47 - '
Did you pay someone, such as a nanny, housekeeper or cook to work in your home?' Not yet, hahahahaha!

9:56 - '
Congratulations! You’ve completed your returns and now you’re ready to file.' But I still OWE $10! That's not fair!

9:57 - Save my work and decide to contact a professional.

9:58 - More wine.

1 comment:

  1. you know my mom's an accountant and does my friend's taxes....

    ReplyDelete

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